The Beginning

The Beginning

Welcome to the blog for Blessingway Midwifery Care! Here I hope to share my experiences as a mother, a midwife, and an educator as I navigate this journey of a solo practice for the first time. I am certainly not perfect and have made many mistakes along the way, but by sharing what I have learned and experienced I hope to give other birth workers and parents information about the process, some options they had not thought of and ideas for the future as they walk their path as a parent, doula, or midwife.

Becoming a mother and a midwife has been a healing, challenging, and empowering journey. The birth of my first child was so much harder than I expected, and also one of the most intense experiences in my life. I had been telling myself all throughout my pregnancy that birth was a Rite of Passage and a sacred event in the life of a family. What I did not expect was the unpredictability of labor, the amount of effort needed by both myself and my husband, and the sheer power of birth.

I had planned a homebirth, and when my labor took much longer than what I felt was normal, I decided to go to the hospital. I just felt that it wasn’t working at home and that I must have needed something that was available at the hospital. So after a night of much needed sleep, pitocin, breaking of my water, and an epidural I was finally able to give birth to my first born, a beautiful 9lb 1oz baby girl.

My midwife was with me at the hospital, working through every contraction and offering suggestions for relief and getting baby out. I know in my heart I would have had a cesarean birth if she had not been with us, helping us to understand the process, encouraging me to hang in there and keep going. I amazed myself at my strength (I never even asked for pain meds, they had to suggest it to me) and at the commitment of my husband (when the doc came in stating that we should probably choose a cesarean, he piped up and asked for other options).

When I finally held my baby in my arms, I was so relieved that it was over, and yet so elated that she was here. Looking into her eyes for the first time, and seeing her look back at me with that trust that I would take care of her was one of my favorite moments of all time. I was finally a mother, I had birthed her myself, and all with the help of midwives.

Birth is intense, sacred, wonderful, challenging and amazing. It will take you to your limits and beyond. You will find places within you have never experienced before. And you will be amazed at yourself and your partner and what you were able to achieve together. That first moment when you actually see your baby, know that s/he is an actual real person with feelings, needs, and most of all filled with unconditional love, is more than anyone could have ever planned for or imagined. Embrace it with all of your heart and soul and it will change your life.

~ Jennifer Fegan-Szalay, Mother, Midwife and Seeker

Coming Next : Midwifery and The Calling